Goodbye ...

[warning: long entry!]

While the rest of the people from the bloggin' world has declared their New Year's Resolutions, and while everybody had told all their stories for the have been year 2006, the bloggin' addictus me who used to publish her have been, to do's, plans, right now, future, adventures, dreams, shopping and food escapades etc., as often as she can, has been quiet for some time now, for some strange reasons. Guess what, I can no longer hold my silence. The sadness of the word goodbye that I've been keeping to myself for a while is something that I think, I am now ready to share. I've actually started writing this entry months back, but it's just now that I felt ready to publish it.

I know that it might not be a surprise for you anymore, since I think the news of me moving out of EarthLink WebHosting in PeopleSupport, my second home for the past three years of my career, has been roaming around for the past few months already. Yes guys, that company where I lived 9-12 hours of my life a day, 5 days a week, for close to three years of my life is now on my dearly past. Maybe people from my workplace already saw this coming since last year. I've been holding on since I started being left behind by my friends, Pakko and Wacks in 2005, and Joi on June 2006. It was a good thing I was a part of the team ever since it started so all of the people there are like family to me and that made the adjustment much easier. I've been keeping to myself the struggle I was really feeling inside for the last year of my stay there. 2006 was really a challenge I may say. I didn't want Carlo to start asking me again to quit the job and I avoided the "I told you so" comment from my friends, especially those who were aware of what was happening around. I loved the people I worked with so much. Even those that I know I hate, really. They were the reason why I stayed and hoped for some changes for the better, but until the end, there was none.

One day when I can't sleep I thought about my stay there in PS. I remember that I was half happy and half scared back the time when I learned that I got the job and I am to start on March 15, 2004. I was still in College then and school won't be officially over in two weeks. I had to transfer to the night class to be able to attend to my training in the morning. Days go by and as I started to learn a lot of things I never even thought I'd be interested about, the fear was replaced by excitement and happiness each time I am to go to work, each time I am at work. Months go by and as I do my best to be a wife, a mom, a family, a friend, and a career woman all at the same time, for some reason I never get tired and I just kept going.

After about less than a month of taking calls I was offered by my supervisor then (Mommy Irish) a spot on the line up of what we call "Tier2". People who'll be responsible for taking "supervisor/escalated calls" and stuff like that. I refused. I was so agressive then that from the start I was eyeing for a supervisory position and I didn't thought that additional responsibilities was the key to that path. Months and years pass by, still no promotion. I am such an achiever so I started to get tired of what I was doing just because I oh so mastered it already. Some people even say that I can take calls even when I'm asleep! I admit during that time I am not happy with what I'm doing anymore and the only thing that kept me going to work are the people I work with that I love who I know believes and cares for me. When I said that 2006 was really a challenge, for me it really was because I almost gave up, well, yeah in the end I actually did.

It was September of last year when Carlo said that he might get the Store Supervisor promotion by summer of 2007. That time I knew it was like a sign from God that it's time for me to move on. I know that I've worked as hard as I can but it just strucked me that I will never get promoted because I can't be a drinking/smoking buddy for "them". That time I realized all the flaws that I've been trying to ignore just because I love the work and I love working my a** off. Talent, hardwork, loyalty, commitment and whatever it is I can offer is nothing especially if some people are aware that I can be better or let me say I am better than them! That is the sad truth on the account I lived and left. And until know I wonder why it took me almost three years to get to realize that.

During that time I started looking around for other options that might give me more opportunities I deserve. I planned my silent exit from work by going on vacation leave after Christmas. I did a lot of thinking and finally decided to leave the company a month before my third year anniversary with them. Since my resignation, I've been to the office just twice and made sure that I didn't encounter anyone really close to me. Morning was the best time just because there were just a few of them on the floor. It's not that I'm avoiding any ambush interview but I know that it'll definitely be harder for me if I get to see them, my family for years and bid goodbye. I just told myself that maybe, my official goodbye to them was when I handed my holiday presents to everyone a couple of days before Christmas. Technically, my last day "at" work was on the 31st of December because on that day, I took my last call.

I've been out of the company for more than three months now, and I'm proud to be able to survive the "leaving your comfort zone" struggle that they call. Everyday I still think and imagine on what could've happen if ever I didn't actually left, maybe this, maybe that. I miss everything about my previous work. I miss the workload (the company and the account that I'm working with now is just so darn easy!). I miss getting 40-60 calls on a regular day where 8 out of 10 customers are irate! (haha!) I miss invalid escalations, invalid SRs, update trainings, team buildings, parties, and all the activities where people from our team are always well dressed!(really!) I miss eight hours of non-stop Jabber. I miss site downtimes. I miss troubleshooting Trellix, FrontPage, Outlook, and hearing customer's rant, wanting to speak to Gary Betty! (haha!) I miss the floor, our office. I miss the feeling of being at home where you see people walking in bedroom slippers, wrapped in blankets and borrowing each other's pillows. This might sound funny, but I miss "7th floor", haha! (Robinson's Summit Center) I miss the way people hates going there because they'll smell like used cooking oil in minutes but they still do just because the cafeteria simply got almost everything we might need and want. I miss Makati. I miss the place where almost everything is accessible 24/7. Taxi, ATMs, MiniStop and 711 are everywhere; Starbucks almost in every builing; a wide variety of fastfood and delivery even in midnight; and a few blocks walk away from Ayala Center! Working in a city like that makes life much more easier! haaayyy ...

But the people I worked with were the ones I missed the most. I regularly check their multiply sites for new pictures and read their blogs for updates. I miss the times where we just laugh our hearts out of anything, making fun of wrong grammar, pronunciations and stupid customers; Ordering food from whoever we feel for the night; walking two blocks to get McDonalds, three blocks for KFC; Hating Clark for being such an a**, loving Lowell for being the master, and wondering what Mike E.'s mood for the day is, haha! Bus rides, MRT, Videoke, Valero Cafe, and all the things we could do for bonding; EOP, Clean desk policy, no mobile phones and gadgets on the floor, and the rest of the other regulations we hate and disobey whole heartedly, haha! I could go on and on but I know, it will not make any difference, I can never bring the good old times back anymore. Even if we all know that we hate each other at times and that there were issues between power trippers at the management team; the gap between Tier2 and Tier1; and the rest of the other issues we had for the past years, in the end, we still stick to being together, we are one family, we care for each other.

There's a saying that the only constant thing in the world is change, it doesn't make any sense for me before, but as I started the new year, 2007, a lot of changes in my life took place and now I get to realize, yeah, maybe change is the only constant thing we'll have in our lives. Whether for the better or not, we have to have them, we have to face them. There are lot of things that I have wanted to do to be able to express how grateful I am to the company who sheltered me, the account who tolerated me, and the people who loved me for the past three years, but I did nothing and left. Despite the reality that I had tons of negative reasons why I left, yes, I am still grateful.

So to everyone, thank you. Thank you for the experience. Thank you for the friendship. Thank you for everything.
I'll see you around. Ü